Oh By Grace!
by 3rdAuror
Summary: The story of Jason Grace's crazy new life at CHB as told through his online diary. Percabeth, Frazel Jason/? (You decide!) Entry 1: Chiron should really get Hedge off those herbs...


_**This is greatly enspired by Kineticly Charmed's Beautiful Mind of Katherine Pryde, read it, you will die!**_

_**Entry 1: Hedge-Poop.**_

Camp Half-Blood is, by definition, a strange place. Taco Tuesday for one. We eat tacos everyday, and we eat pizza on Tuesday. Shouldn't it be called Pizza Tuesday? Do they like the alliteration of Taco Tuesday, or is there just something that makes the thought of adding a tasty adjective to the beggining of a word worthwhile.

Taco t-bag for example. T-bags are borrying, just y'know up and down, same old thing. But Taco t-bags, sounds way better.

Anyway CHB is weird. Why?

The stables.

I get it, y'know the appeal of...doing 'things' in a private place because at CHB everyone knows everyone and the bathrooms are always busy, so if you do do 'things' you never actually know who can hear you (then you'll end up like Percabeth, who everyone knows is always doing stuff in Bathroom Seven. Don't ask how we know, we just know.) The only alternative is doing 'things' in your cabin and knowing the Greeks, that is never a good idea, it's just plain nasty.

But still, privacy is amazing. I never used to get a lot since, um, intimacy in public was sort of my ex-girlfriend's (Piper, her name was Piper and we aren't getting into the juicy nitty gritty of that story. We're just not.) thing, and she was always y'know...

You do know right?

Anyway, Annabeth forced me to start this blog because she believes that talking about your problems to a bunch of random stranger who might be:

A) Stalkers.

B) Rapist stalkers.

C) Psycotic semi-Rapist stalkers that have a thing for semi-raping blonde sons of Jupiter.

What? You guys aren't afraid of stalkers. They're like Santa clause, except they know a lot more than whether you've been good or bad. Like where you keep your favourite 'Zeus BayBay!' underwear...

Do you guys even want to hear about how badly I got my ass dumped and how I cried about it for a week and how I litterally had to share a bed with Percy and Annabeth because I was so damn lonely? I bet you don't.

...By-the-way, all that stuff about crying. I didn't cry ok. I didn't. I'm not going to deny the whole bed sharing thing because I have an honesty issue. (and if you're a CHB demigod reading this you'll just ask Percy...) I admit, once or twice I did need to cuddle with them (Percy offered ok!) and it was really weird because this one time we woke up spooning and I was the middle spoon and Percy was the small spoon and Annabeth was whirspering Percy's name in my ear and it was... I digress.

So, the stables. I was wondering, what is the appeal? Seriously. I mean, that is litterally where the Pegasi/Horses/The ocasional Coach Hedge when he's pissed of his wife and has to hide from her wrath take their dumps. So, when you go to make out, or do things, you are litterally making out and/or doing things in the Horse/Pegasi/Coach Hedge's toilet (I'm mostly worried about the Coach-poop, that guy eats the weirdest stuff...not to mention the herbs...)

Do you know how many diseases you can contract from that stuff. Colerea, Candida, Crabs and lots of other sicknesses Annabeth told me about that start with 'C'. I mean, I'm not trying to be disgusting or anything, but seriously? Think about it.

Not to mention how many people use the exact same places. Like that weird looking niche in the corner, I can name about 12 couples that I've walked in on going at it in that corner. And that's not even the popular people (Aphrodite cabin) keep tabs on, like Percy or Will.

I understand the whole Will thing, everybody loves Will and Solangelo. Well, everybody is practically betting on when their getting together. I bet that it would happen before christmas, in some cliché parody of those RomComs Percy watches (Percy, not me. Percy) They're will be a kiss, sparks will fly.

And I will get 20 drachma.

Solangelo just so happens to spend excesive amounts of time in the stables. Which I find weird because Will is like a ball of sunshine that throws up rainbows which should scare the poop (as if we need anymore. I've cleaned the stabbles, there is a lot of shit in thise stables.)

But Percabeth, it shouldn't be a surprise that they spend time in the stbles. They're so in love they could spend time in the pits (that's what we call the place where all the stuff goes at CHB. I have also cleaned this place...nasty.)

Is there something romantic about it? Does your girlfriend/boyfriend/sex-friend/Hermaphrodite lover have some sort of Hedge-poop fetish (that stuff is bad I swear. Once on a taco tuesday, he needed to use the Poseidon cabin's bathroom. I haven't touched that thing since...Percy, not so much...) Did your girlfriend/boyfriend/sex-friend/Hermaphrodite lover have those weird day dreams most kids have about getting married to some rich guy so you can later kill him and take his fortune (Thalia was a strange kid) except instead of money, you like it when a bunch of Pegasi are just staring at you.

Have you ever wondered how the Pegasi feel? Watching you. Staring. They aren't as dumb as we think they are. Just yesterday Blackjack was telling Percy and I a particularly saucy story about Connor and Lacy. Apparently, she happens to be quite flexible for a sixteen year old girl. I didn't ask Percy to elaborate the details, because even he was going a little bit red from the story.

And that is saying something, because Percy and Annabeth...well, their reletionship sort of speas for itself.

So I guess I'm generally asking, why the stables? It is practically a weird mix of a cabin, the bathrooms and a giant toilet.

That is kind of disgusting. Imagine getting down and dirty in a toilet. And I don't mean that kind of down and dirty, I meant the getting on the good foot and doing the bad thing kind of down and dirty.

Why?

Signed:Jason Grace, Metaphor Master and counsler of Cabin 1.

**I don't get the appeal either Jay. Leave a review and tell Jason what you think.**

**Also: Who should Jason end up with? I'm not sure If I want him with Pipes so everyone is free to choose. But if you guys insist, he'll get back with her.**

**Review!**


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